


Spaces Between us

by hot_damn_louis



Series: 12 Days Of Christmas 2014 [1]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:38:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hot_damn_louis/pseuds/hot_damn_louis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry are at different universities. This is what happens when they are apart for too long. </p><p>Idea sent in by anonymous.<br/>"<b>Larry fanfic where Harry gets accepted into a different university and Louis and Harry try to make it work long-distance, but struggle.</b>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spaces Between us

**Author's Note:**

> This is all fiction, I don't know anything about these people in real life, blah blah blah the usual. 
> 
> My tumblr is [here](http://hot-damn-louis.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Shout out to [Kezia](http://visual-blind-spot.tumblr.com/) for being a darling and editing literally all of my fics for this entire thing. I don't know what I would do without you, to be honest.
> 
> Title from Spaces by One Direction

Louis was nervous about his first day of uni, especially since his boyfriend, Harry, was going to a different uni. Not only a different uni, but a uni over four hours away from Louis. While Louis was setting his suitcases on his unmade, bare bed in London, Harry was doing the same in Manchester over 200 miles away, probably already making new friends and finding a way to dump Louis.

No. Louis couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t. He would call Harry and rant to him and assure himself that nothing was going to happen. He trusted Harry with his heart, but he couldn’t help but listen to the little nagging voice in the back of his head. The same nagging voice that convinced Louis to tell Harry to let go and explore without Louis, which was a stupid idea. I mean, Louis had been dating Harry since they were both bumbling 16 year olds that couldn’t tell the difference between love and lust. Now, two years later, Louis couldn’t help but feel as if Harry wanted space in their relationship. That was what Louis had said to him before they parted at the airport.

“I won’t mind if you want space. I mean, starting a new uni and all,” Louis said, as if Harry was the one leaving for London. “I will understand if you want to make new friends and such,” Louis added, his hands interlaced with Harry’s, his shoulders shaking slightly.

“Babe, don’t worry. I wouldn’t leave you for anything,” Harry said, pressing a chaste kiss to Louis’ forehead, his arms wrapping tight around Louis’ shoulders as he drew Louis into a bone crunching hug, his body pressed tight against Louis.

“I love you,” Louis mumbled into Harry’s chest, tracing circles on Harry’s back.

“Love you, too,” Harry said back, his lips near Louis’ ear, brushing against Louis’ neck with the words.

Now, all Louis craved was those arms around him again, hugging him tight to Harry’s chest. He didn’t want to meet his new roommate, who seemed to have dumped his stuff on his bed and left. He didn’t want to start classes tomorrow and wake up alone, without Harry a few houses down waiting for him. He didn’t want to share a bathroom, or have parties or even attend class. Everything Louis dreamed about uni didn’t seem the same without Harry there to share the memories with him. Without another hesitation, Louis pressed the first speed dial on his phone, pressing the screen tight to his ear as he heard it ring once. Twice. Three times.

Harry answered after the fourth ring, his voice sounding slightly out of breath. “Babe, I know you’re worried,” Harry started with, obviously looking at the caller ID.

“I’m more than worried,” Louis hissed, interrupting Harry. “I fucking scared off my pants, and you know it takes a lot to scare me. Remember last Halloween? I don’t get scared easily,” Louis said, smiling faintly with the fond memory. “I’m all alone, Harry. I don’t know anyone here. I’m scared, and alone, and I’ve only been to London once or twice, alright? I don’t even know where I am,” Louis said, clutching the phone with a death grip.

“Boobear. Calm down,” Harry said, his voice like liquid through the phone. Louis could hear his heavy breathing bouncing through the phone and around the room, harsh in the quietness. Before Louis could respond to Harry, Harry started singing, his voice flowing through the phone like honey.

“ _White lips, pale face, breathing in the snowflakes_ ,” Harry started to sing, pausing a moment for Louis to join in.

“ _Burnt lungs, sour taste_ ,” Louis sang back, smiling to the phone. “I love that song, Harold,” Louis said, smiling brightly.

“I know you love that song,” Harry giggled, his voice sounding like a smile. “Feel better now?” Harry asked, his voice still slightly concerned.

“Much better, now that I hear your voice. Once I get wifi, then we can Skype. Then I can see your pretty face again,” Louis responded, throwing himself on his unmade bed, a shoe stabbing into his back. Louis reached behind him and pulled out a dirty blue low-top Vans, tossing it to the end of the bed.  

“I love you,” Harry said, a loud noise in the background. “Now, I’m going to get back to unpacking before my roommate tries to steal my things,” Harry added, slightly urgently. “Bye, babe,” Harry said, the click ringing out before Louis had a chance to say anything else.

“Love you, too,” Louis muttered to the phone, tossing the phone towards the end of the bed.

“Wow, such strong feelings on the first day. I’m Liam,” said a boy from the door, his muscular arms in a tight black t-shirt. “Your roommate,” he added after a moment when Louis just stared at him.

Louis sat up, nodding. “Louis. And that wasn’t directed towards you. I was talking to my boyfriend and he hung up before I could say that I loved him too,” Louis said, swinging his legs off of the bed. Louis stood and paced from the door to his bed again, trying to figure out something else to say. They stared at each other for a few moments of complete silence before Liam had the courage to say anything.

“Well, wanna grab lunch? I’m famished,” Liam said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.  

“Sound’s good,” Louis said, following Liam out their dorm room door.

***

Two weeks later, after Louis had managed to finally get the wifi set up, he texted Harry to say that he was going to Skype him, then booted up the Skype on his computer, adjusting the webcam he bought specifically for this reason. He waited and waited, nearly ten minutes, before Harry appeared online, Louis clicking on him almost immediately.

The first thing he saw of Harry in two weeks was him in just his pants standing in his room, searching for a shirt in his closet. Louis admired the curve of his bum as he bent over to grab something, and smiled wickedly when Harry turned back towards the camera.

“You’re looking hot, Hazza,” Louis said, licking his lips. He stared at the moth tattoo that adorned Harry’s stomach, something Louis was still not used to even though Harry had gotten it nearly six months ago. Louis also wasn’t used to the ‘Hi’ that was tattooed on the inside of his  arm. It was the first thing Louis had ever said to him. Louis had a matching ‘Oops’ on his forearm, the first thing Harry had ever said to him. Even if they ever broke up, their tattoos were commemorating each other instead of being a couple tattoo, so they could always look back fondly over the memory of being young and in love.

“You’re just saying that because I’m wearing next to nothing,” Harry said, slipping a shirt on, one that Louis definitely remembers was his. The shirt was a red color, closer to maroon than he would’ve liked, but it had a scoop neck that showed off his collarbones.

“Well, you look even better in my shirt,” Louis said, smirking.

Harry looked down at his chest, running his hands over the tight shirt that was stretched across his torso. “I love this shirt. I always think about you while wearing this shirt,” Harry murmured, biting his lip as he glanced back up at Louis through the laptop.

“I love you so much. You know that, right Harold?” Louis said, warmth filling his heart as Harry smiled at him.

“I love you, too,” Harry said, an ear splitting grin taking command of his face. They stared at each other for a moment, giggling with happiness, before continuing on with their conversation.

***

Louis was easy to get jealous. I mean, when he first met Harry, he was jealous of Harry’s friendship with Zayn, and how close they were, and how much they loved being around each other, and Louis couldn’t particularly get over that at first. This time, Louis knew that he was being stupid. He knew that the guy in all of Harry’s photos on Facebook meant nothing. He knew that this guy named Nick Grimshaw was probably just some friend of Harry’s, but he couldn’t help but feel jealous when he saw Nick’s arm curled around Harry’s shoulder or his hand grabbing Harry’s waist, as if Nick was dating him and not Louis.

But, even though the pictures were going up, Harry was still calling and Skyping Louis at least twice a week, with texts sent to each other nearly every day. Louis knew that he shouldn’t be jealous, but he couldn’t help but let that feeling take root in his stomach and flourish there. All Louis really wanted to do was show up in Manchester and punch that stupid Nick in the face, even though he had never met Nick.

And whenever Harry would forget to text him or forget to call him, Louis would always go out with Liam and some of the football guys and they would go get hammered until they couldn’t see straight, because drunk Louis was the only version of Louis that couldn’t feel jealousy.

***

Early in October, Louis tried calling Harry one night to tell him about finding a new coffee shop he liked, but Harry didn’t answer. Harry also didn’t answer the three texts Louis had sent him. Louis brushed it off, assuming Harry was busy. But, what kind of business could Harry get into at 8pm on a Wednesday night?

***

A night partway into October, Louis called Harry at their normal 9pm call on a Saturday night, before Louis went to sleep. But, this time, when Harry answered, it sounded as if a party was in full swing. Louis had to pull the phone away from his ear, he high pitched squeals coming from the phone hurting his ears.

“Lou, babe,” Harry slurred, the sound of Harry banging into a wall or chair in the background. “I’m moving outside. Hold on a minute,” Harry added, the sound of a door opening and closing.

“Hey, love,” Louis said, pinching his side as Harry hummed in response.

“Lou, sorry I forgot about the call. Niall, decided to have a party in our dorm, and we were all just hanging out in the kitchen. I’m in my room now, though, so at least I can hear you,” Harry said, his voice much more mumbly than usual. Louis knew it was because he was drunk. He was pissed off his arse, and Louis couldn’t help but be angry that Harry had the audacity to forget their Saturday call.

“Fuck, Harry. Can’t you remember when we call each other? I mean, I sit vigil on this end, and you are out there partying like it’s your birthday, and I know it’s not. Just, call me back when you’re sober again, alright?” Louis asked. When Harry only mumbled in response, Louis hung up, feeling worse than he did before the call.

***

He didn’t talk to Harry for nearly a week. This is what Louis expected. He knew Harry would want space, and he knew that he would take it if it were offered to him. Louis just didn’t expect space to feel this bad. He didn’t expect space to feel as if his heart was being slowly pulled from his chest. He could tell that Liam could see his pain. Liam always tried cheering him up with drinking or Fifa, but Louis couldn’t help but feel like shit anyways.

Louis was wondering if Harry felt the same.

***

November was rough. November was filled with awkward conversations and Harry couldn’t stop talking about Nick, no matter how many times Louis sighed when hearing his name. Louis couldn’t help but feel sick to his stomach whenever Harry threw Nick in his face like that, like Nick was there for Harry and Louis wasn’t. Louis almost thought about throwing Liam in Harry’s face, but the thought of purposely trying to hurt Harry made Louis hurt even worse.

Louis missed classes in November, instead roaming around with a coffee in one hand and his heart yearning for the boy who wouldn’t answer his calls. He couldn’t help but imagine that Harry was next to him, and he couldn’t help but want Harry to be right there with him. All Louis wanted was to travel back to when he wore braces and Harry had cute cherub cheeks and when things were simpler for them.  

Harry didn’t Skype with Louis in November. Not even once. All of their communication was through the phone, with calls and texts that sounded more like breakups than the happy reunion that Louis wanted.

***

The night that Harry posted a photo of him and Nick dancing at some party was the first night in years that Louis cried himself to sleep.

***

It was the last Friday in November when Harry called Louis during one of Louis’ infamous trips with his coffee. Louis was tempted to ignore it, but he couldn’t help but answer because it was Harry. The Harry who still held his heart. The same one that occupied his every thought.  

“Hi, Harry,” Louis said, crouching over to look at a caterpillar crawling on a leaf, his little feet moving slowly as he chugged along. Louis couldn’t help but smile at the tiny little caterpillar.

“Babe. So, the other day at the shop with Nick,” Harry started, his voice already rambling onto a story Louis knew he wouldn’t want to hear.

“Goddammit, Harold. I don’t give a shit about what you and Nick did the other day. I don’t like Nick. I can’t help but feel jealous of him because you spend all your time with him and you hang all over him in your Facebook photos and you know what? If all you want to do is talk about Nick, than don’t call again,” Louis ranted, breathing hard as he stood up. “I mean, you can’t bother but answer the phone when I want to talk about London, and then expect me to answer whenever you want to talk about the stupid bloke that is replacing me in your life? I’d rather you not rub your new love in my face,” Louis added, his words strong and clear despite his racing heart.He hung up before Harry could retort, and then put his phone on silent, not wanting to hear any sort of messages.

Louis immediately felt like shit for what he said, but he couldn’t take it back. He couldn’t because that was how he really felt. Harry needed to know how he really felt, and how he felt about Nick. Being honest and truthful about his feelings was more important to Louis than keeping his relationship. Harry and Louis had been together through thick and thin, and Louis just wanted to lay his feelings on the line. If some stupid older uni bloke broke up their relationship, then their relationship wasn’t strong enough in the first place.

***

December dragged on. Louis was behind in nearly all of his classes. Harry hadn’t called him or texted him once since the phonecall, and now Louis was headed back to Doncaster and be the closest to Harry than he’s been in months, yet still be so distant. Showing up at his home, his mother immediately drew him into a hug, knowing each and every little step of this situation as it happened.

“He will come back,” she whispered into his ear, holding him tight. “If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t realize how precious you are.”

“I know, Mum,” Louis mumbled, pressing his lips together. “We’ve just never had a fight like this, or had to be apart for so long,” Louis added, pulling away from his mum as he stepped back, shrugging. “Can I just go sleep or something? It’s been a long day for me, considering I had to drive back with Liam, only for him to head to Leeds for a week instead of stay here in Doncaster,” Louis said with a sigh.

“But you are friends with your roommate,” Louis’ mum deadpanned, frowning a tad.

Smiling, Louis patted her shoulder. “Of course. He’s great,” Louis said, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. He couldn’t help but think of a similar conversation when he started to date Harry years ago. With his mum asking if they were dating and Louis responding with the same words. Louis couldn’t help but make everything about Harry lately, even when all he wanted was the pain to go away.

What made Louis feel even worse was the fact that he was the first to start the fight.

***

As it neared Louis’ birthday, days at his old childhood home got crazier and crazier with every day, and Louis’ heart yearned for a conversation with Harry. He just wanted to tell Harry that he was sorry, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to when he also had so many hurtful things to tell Harry.

But the peculiar thing was that his mother said he had a special birthday surprise that would show up on his birthday. Louis couldn’t help but feel suspicious of this,  knowing his mum, it would be something ridiculous. He also knew that Lottie was in on the whole thing because she couldn’t help but giggle whenever Louis would mope around the house.

***

Louis went to bed December 23rd with his body curled around a pillow that he wished was Harry, his body trying to be the big spoon around the small pillow, tears leaking from his eyes silently as he wished that he did something different along the way.

Louis woke up December 24th to the sound of the doorbell. When Louis rubbed his bleary eyes, shoving glasses on to see the time, he noticed that it was only 6:21 AM. Not wanting his mother to get up, Louis hopped out of bed, putting on a scowl for anyone who would dare knock on his door this early on his birthday.

Stomping in his bare feet, plaid flannel pajamas and one of Harry’s jumpers he had managed to sneak into his luggage way back when, Louis threw open the door, ready to tell off whoever was on the other side. The sight made Louis choke back his words, his body feeling as heavy as lead. Louis gripped the door frame tightly to prevent from falling, his breath exhaling in two words.

“Harry Styles.”

“Happy birthday,” Harry said, stepping forward and dragging Louis towards him by the shoulders, tucking Louis underneath his arms as he hugged Louis’ shoulders tightly, Louis’ hands wrapped around his waist firmly.

“I’ve missed you so much you fucking twat,” Louis said, roughly pushing Harry off of him almost as quickly as he started to hug Harry. “What the fuck are you doing here? We are fighting remember? Because you hurt my feelings and never texted me or called me, which broke my heart into a million pieces yet all I can think about is you. Can you just leave before I embarrass myself more?” Louis ranted, looking everywhere except at Harry.

“Louis, that’s why I’m here. I want to talk. I want to tell you why, so that even if we do break up, we have closure. But, I’m hoping that you won’t break up with me after this,” Harry said, rubbing his hands together nervously.

Glancing nervously at the clock next to the door, Louis decides to let Harry in, stepping out of the way to have Harry come in, his body relaxing in the warmth of the home. “Five minutes,” Louis said, walking towards the living room couch before Harry had a choice of where he wanted to sit.

“Babe, I just want to explain what all went down from my perspective,” Harry said, sitting across from Louis in the living room. “First, lets start with the day we left each other. Do you want to know how confused I was when you suggested that I take the space I was given? I thought you were going to say that you wanted to stay really close, but then you blindsided me by saying that you thought that I deserved space, which I thought meant that you wanted space. I mean, what am I supposed to think? I just wanted to be with you so bad I was contemplating proposing before leaving for uni.

“Then, I thought that if you were off finding friends and getting the space that you needed, maybe I should make you jealous? Great plan, hun? I thought it was good at the time, when I thought that maybe it would get you to tell me why you suggested space. And know, I guess I know that you’re jealous. D’you know I replay that conversation in my head all the time? How I could have possibly said something, or possibly called you afterward. But, then again, all I could think about was the fact that I was hurting you. While I thought maybe I could make you jealous and then I realized that you didn’t want space at all, did you? You just wanted to make sure that I got what I needed, but Louis, all I need is you,” Harry said, his hands combing through his hair over and over again as he talked, not looking at Louis but instead looking down.

“Harry, the reason why I said you should take some space is because that’s what I thought you wanted! I thought you wanted to be by yourself or maybe date someone else or make a new friend,” Louis mumbled nervously. He looked up into Harry’s eyes, a smile dancing upon his lips. “Maybe I need to stop being jealous and trust you a little more,” Louis admitted, raising his eyebrows.  

“Maybe we just needed to communicate,” Harry murmured, reaching out blindly to grab Louis’ hand. Louis laced their fingers together, standing up to pull himself closer to Harry.

“I hate that Nick bloke. Don’t make me jealous with him,” Louis said, sitting on Harry’s lap, pinning his legs down. “I can’t stand the fact that he gets to hang all over you when we go to school so far away.”

“As long as you tell me exactly how you feel the moment you feel any doubt, okay?” Harry asked, letting go of Louis’ hand so he could place both of his hands on Louis’ hips. “I don’t ever want to fight, ever again. It felt as if you were breaking my heart in two. Literally,” Harry added, his thumbs tracing along Louis’ hip bones.

“I’m glad we sorted this out. I would have hated to end things on a fight,” Louis said, his hands cupping Harry’s face gently.

“I would have hated to end it,” Harry said, leaning forward to push his face into Louis’ chest, hugging Louis tight against him.

They remained like that, joy seeping back into Louis’ bones with every passing second, his heart already feeling lighter just being in the presence of Harry. Even when Louis went to pull away, Harry kept his tight grip on Louis, just holding him silently, breathing into Louis’ shirt as he held Louis, their bodies flush with each other.

“I thought I heard you get up,” a voice said in the doorway. Louis turned to look at his mother, who was standing their with a smile on her face and her arms crossed. “Surprise, Lou. Harry’s staying this whole week,” his mum added, her smile bright.

“I’d stay forever if I could,” Harry murmured into Louis’ chest, turning his head to look at Johannah in the doorway. Johannah smiled, pulling her robe tighter around her.

“Now, boys, stop canoodling in the living room. Do you really want your sisters to make fun about this for the next five years?” Johannah said, snorting lightly at the thought of her daughters mocking her son.

Reluctantly, Louis separated himself from Harry, smoothing Harry’s too big jumper down over his stomach, stretching out his back as he yawned. He spotted Harry looking at his bum and poked Harry’s stomach, right where he knew the moth to be.

“Were you really thinking of proposing to me?” Louis asked, glancing up at Harry through his eyelashes, his face neutral but hopeful.

“Maybe,” Harry said coyly, reaching out to run his hand down the length of Louis’ forearm. “Still debating it. Debating whether or not I want to propose or make you propose to me,” Harry added, grabbing Louis’ hand and pulling it up to his mouth to kiss gently.

“I’m getting you a ring, no matter who proposes,” Louis said, stepping closer to Harry, Harry interlacing their fingers before letting their hands dangle together by their sides.

“I’m still here,” Johannah said from the doorway, smiling at them. She giggled before walking away, sighing slightly. Louis could hear her being extra loud in the kitchen, maybe as a warning to them to be a little less lovesick and act a little bit more like they were in Louis’ living room at 7am.

“I love you so much, Harry,” Louis said, leaning up to press a kiss to Harry’s lips. When Harry pulled away, he grinned, his dimples emerging from his cheeks. Louis couldn’t help but poke his finger into his dimple.

“Love you too, Lou.”

 

 


End file.
